The Love That Binds Us by Phoenix Blackwood

 

Today you can get to know author Phoenix Blackwood better in this interview and then read an excerpt from The Love That Binds Us. Be sure to follow the tour for even more fun and then check out the giveaway at the end of the post!

From the outside, Alex has a perfect life. She has a partner who loves her, gets good grades in school, excels at most sports, and has a big heart. From the inside, Alex’s life is anything but perfect. She hasn’t spoken to her father in years. She’s hiding the fact that her once-best-friend now-romantic-partner Theo is trans and nonbinary from her homophobic mother. Bullies are harassing her and Theo at school, taunting and shoving. It’s all becoming too much for Alex to bear.

Things take a surprising turn when Alex’s mother discovers her relationship with Theo. After Alex is thrown out of her house and taken in by Theo’s foster family, Alex can live honestly. For a while, things start to feel manageable. Alex finds a new group of friends. She navigates what “family” means beyond her mother and sister. She even considers forgiving her mother’s past mistakes. But forgiveness requires honesty. Secrets Alex’s mother has been keeping are surfacing, trying to bind Alex to misery. As Alex learns the full truth of her mother’s past mistakes, she will need the love of her chosen family and friends to gently bind her life into a shape that keeps her whole.

Read an excerpt:

I sat on my bed and pulled Theo down to my level, kissing them on the forehead. They sat down with me and kissed me on the lips until they were leaning over me and my hands were wrapped around the back of their neck, pulling them closer. They were so soft, always so tender. I focused all my attention on the kiss, so much so that I didn’t hear the small squeak of my door opening. Theo pulled away suddenly, jarring me and forcing me to look in the direction of their gaze.

Leah had opened the door. She stood there with her mouth open, her face frozen in wonder and confusion. She’d known Theo since we’d become friends, I bet she had never imagined finding us kissing when she opened my door.

Theo and I looked at each other in horror. The secret was out, how were we going to get her to keep quiet? We should’ve been more careful. We’d gotten too comfortable.

I signed for Leah to come sit between us on the bed. My face got hot as she sat and tears brimmed in my eyes. My mom could never, ever find out - Leah knowing was so dangerous. She looked up at me with wide eyes and signed, “Boyfriend?”

Theo must’ve seen the panic rising up in me, because they took over. They gently rested one hand on her shoulder to get her attention and then explained, “We love each other. I’m not a boy, but I’m still her partner. I’m like a boyfriend, just minus the boy part.”

Walking through the threshold of Theo’s house was like a weight lifting off my shoulders, all the tension of home and school falling away. This was what home was supposed to feel like. I flopped down on the couch and Theo joined me a couple minutes later with two mugs of tea, handing me one. I leaned into them as they wrapped an arm around my shoulders after turning the television on to the latest show we’d been binging. This felt so safe, so calm. A feeling I rarely got in my own home. Always on edge, an internal dissonance telling me that I wasn’t good enough. Here, I was everything I was supposed to be.

We watched television until Seth–Theo’s brother–made his way down the stairs and started rummaging through the kitchen to start dinner. The house was quickly filled with smells that made my mouth water - meat searing in a pan, vegetables being chopped, pasta water boiling. I sat in the scents until I couldn’t take it any longer and my stomach growled, causing me to get up and make my way into the kitchen.

Seth shot me a sly smile. “Probably another ten minutes.”

I pouted, staring at the food and willing it to cook faster.

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Describe your book in one sentence or fewer than 25 words.

The Love that Binds Us is about a girl grappling with her identity, and learning to accept herself when others don’t.

What was the inspiration behind this book?

A lot of inspiration comes from my own life. Alex is very similar to myself – while Theo, the main character of my first book, is very similar to myself in their identity, Alex is very similar to me in her emotions and the way she handles things. She constantly masks her emotions for other people’s sake, and tries so hard to please everyone around her. It’s a struggle that’s very close to my heart, one I’m just beginning to figure out myself.

Which character was your favorite to write?

In this book, I believe it was Theo. The way they feel their emotions unbridled and freely is something I admire. While they have to learn to dial it back a little, it’s a stark contrast to Alex’s people pleasing. Theo truly doesn’t care what other people think of them, they just want to keep the people close to them safe.

To which character did you relate the most?

I really believe that it’s Alex. Her people pleasing can run to the extremes, to the point where she feels responsible for other people’s actions. That’s something I’m trying to unlearn, and something that she struggles with quite a bit.

Who would be your dream narrator for the audio book version?

Andre Santana! He was originally set to narrate the series, but unfortunately that didn’t work out. He’s a very close friend of mine and does amazing audio work. If I have the opportunity in the future, I’d definitely choose him.

What do you hope people will get out of your book?

I hope that people will see that you don’t have to fit the mold society makes for you. That who you are and your experiences aren’t something to be hidden away from the world, but something that makes part of who you are. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. Instead, self-acceptance is a powerful tool that can ignite your passion and let you live your life freely.

Tell us about your other published works.

I have a few short stories published, along with book 1 in the Surviving Youth trilogy. All of my work has some aspect of queerness to it, and book 1 delves into Theo’s life, a difficult journey with plenty of mistakes, but something truly beautiful in the end.

On what are you currently working?

I’m currently working on book 3 in the Surviving Youth trilogy! The final book is about Jeremy, Theo’s close friend, who begins to discover that he’s really not who he thought himself to be. Like the other two books, his journey is difficult in its own way, but where he ends up is where he truly belongs.

What are you currently reading? Up next on your TBR?

I’m currently reading The Sunbearer Trials by Aiden Thomas, Lost in the Moment and Found by Seanan McGuire (Love the Wayward Children series), and I just started Lesser Known Monsters by Rory Michaelson. I tend to switch between two books, but I paused The Sunbearer Trials because I couldn’t wait to read Lost in the Moment and Found when it came out. I’m not sure what I’ll choose when I finish those two, but I do have a TBR 18 books deep to choose from.

When not writing, what can we find you doing?

I love to draw! I put it down for a while due to mental health issues and not having the motivation for it, but I’ve slowly been reclaiming that part of me and remembering how much I love it. I’m currently working on a series of paintings of Theo, Alex, and Jeremy.

Born and raised in New England, Phoenix has always been a creative – whether it’s painting or writing. From a very young age, Phoenix has envisioned and created characters, writing them into existence and exploring them through visual arts. Having graduated to first-time short story author, Phoenix is embarking on a journey towards novel writing as they finally bring characters they’ve known for years into the world. Phoenix is neurodiverse and intersex and hopes to bring more representation to both topics with their writing. They believe in creating relatable characters that people can find themselves in and empathize with.

Phoenix Blackwood will be awarding a $10 Amazon or Barnes and Noble GC to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour.

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