Here's another contemporary YA to get your brain working and to really get you in the feels. Read an excerpt from The Signs We Missed by Lena S. May and then download your own copy. Be sure to leave questions and comments as you follow the tour. Best of luck entering the giveaway!
Thrown out by his mother, 17-year-old Luke hopes to overcome his narcotic addiction and depression by changing his surroundings. At his new school, he quickly becomes friends with Sean, but finding that his developing feelings aren’t returned, Luke retreats into old habits. Determined to hide his self-injurious behavior and an advancing eating disorder, he soon risks much more than a broken heart.
When Sean meets Luke, the last thing on his mind is falling in love with a boy. Grappling with his own conflicting emotions and trying to keep them from his suspicious girlfriend, he brushes off Luke’s strange behavior. But when Luke suddenly cuts him off, Sean is forced to confront the truth and take action to save his best friend.
Read an excerpt:
Luke was lying on his back, his phone in one hand, a cigarette in the other.
He had missed the ashtray several times in the past hours, resulting in black burns on the sheet beneath him. It didn’t matter, and they weren't visible in the dark anyway.
The blood wasn't, either.
He was still fighting to forget the pills and the water on the nightstand.
Today had been the first day in a while he had felt well enough to leave the house. Still lousy, but well enough.
He had decided the lightness in his head and the nausea in his stomach were the outcome of him not eating much lately. Hardly anything, except for dry bread, tea, and an apple.
That led him to the conclusion that not taking his pills was no longer the cause of his miserable condition; at least that was what he had tried to convince himself of on the way to the emergency room.
He should have thought of that earlier.
It was Sunday, the only doctor on duty had looked fatigued and stressed. He'd probably been glad all he had to do for Luke was to write him a prescription.
Warning him to get a new prescription earlier next time and keeping the emergency room free for emergencies, he had let him go in no time.
Luke's hands had been shaking when he tried to open the package at home.
Then, at the very last moment, he had changed his mind and slammed it down on the nightstand, almost angry.
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My Playlist for The Signs We Missed
The playlist I created and listened to when I wrote The Signs We Missed is full of songs that represent the topics it deals with for me – mental illness, falling in love, trying to save your loved ones from themselves, the confusing mess that growing up is, but also the faith and comfort that we find in each other, sometimes in unlikely places. Most of them deal with emotions and struggles that the protagonists Luke, Sean and Shayne feel most. So here’s some of the songs that I associate with the story and what they mean for me.
Simple Plan – What If: For me, this one captures all the possibilities and fears involved in growing up, falling in love, and not having figured out who you want to be yet.
What if I can’t go on without you, what if I graduate, what if I don’t?
Shinedown – Stranger Inside: This one is not only about feeling alone, but also about losing touch with yourself, which I feel is something that can happen easily in situations of change and growth. It’s also something Luke feels a lot.
Have you ever felt lost inside, so unloved within that you almost died?
Skillet – Save Me: This song deals with addiction, loneliness, helplessness, and that little voice beneath it all screaming to be saved while you’re unable to actually say it out loud. It’s something that pictures what is going on in Luke’s head very clearly.
Take away all these pills, and please just save me, if you can.
Marianas Trench – Skin and Bones: This is a rather graphic song about what it feels like to have an eating disorder and its connection to self-harm, again something that is a rather integral part of Luke’s situation. Like Save Me, it tackles the wish to get better, but being unable to.
It only hurt a bit and I still feel like shit, and I think you won’t be able to recognize me now.
City Wolf – Protector and Skillet – The Last Night: These two show how Sean feels about Luke, and how having a loved one who is mentally ill can feel in general. They’re quite powerful, hopeful songs.
If you lost the fight, then lets win the war.
Look me in the eyes so I know you know, I’m everywhere you want me to be.
The next three songs have the same theme, but they’re not as hopeful – but they show Sean’s feelings just as much. I think that when being close to someone who is fighting an addiction or a mental illness, you’ll sometimes jump from “I will do anything for you, we can fix this together and you will get better” to “I wish I could be there for you the way you need me to, but I don’t know how.” Sometimes you might get angry with them because you feel like they’re not seeing any sense, or feel guilty because you think you could have acted differently. The following songs capture the darker and often painful side of trying to support your loved one.
Lewis Capaldi – Before You Go: Was there something I could have said to make your heart beat better? Was there something I could have said to make it all stop hurting?
The Fray – How to Save a Life: I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life.
Nickelback – Because of You: I swore not to come, but I’m here after all. I know by the look that I see in your eye, I won’t stand around and I won’t watch you die from what you do.
The Weeknd – Pray for Me: This is just the track I picture playing at the bar in chapter 11, so it can give you an idea of the vibes. It’s also representative for Shayne’s taste in music (which is not exactly in line with mine, as you can probably tell from looking at the other songs).
Theory of a Deadman – Love is Hell: Another one for Shayne – this is pretty much how he feels about falling in love and entering into a relationship.
Here’s what the song says: I’d rather spend a weekend in jail and be stuck without bail than have you stuck in my head.
And here’s what Shayne says: He felt like a massive iron fist was squeezing in his thorax. […] What kind of sadistic people fancied this feeling so much they even went looking for it intentionally?!
Shinedown – A Symptom of Being Human: And lastly, what this one says to me is: It’s okay. We’re all lost and confused, just try to take another breath and another step.
Don’t worry, it’s all just a symptom of being human. We’re all just passing through, passengers on a ship of fools.
(If you do read the book, I’d love for you to listen to Better by SYML when you get to chapter 21. If I could pick any theme song for The Signs We Missed, it’d be this.)
Simple Plan – What If: For me, this one captures all the possibilities and fears involved in growing up, falling in love, and not having figured out who you want to be yet.
What if I can’t go on without you, what if I graduate, what if I don’t?
Shinedown – Stranger Inside: This one is not only about feeling alone, but also about losing touch with yourself, which I feel is something that can happen easily in situations of change and growth. It’s also something Luke feels a lot.
Have you ever felt lost inside, so unloved within that you almost died?
Skillet – Save Me: This song deals with addiction, loneliness, helplessness, and that little voice beneath it all screaming to be saved while you’re unable to actually say it out loud. It’s something that pictures what is going on in Luke’s head very clearly.
Take away all these pills, and please just save me, if you can.
Marianas Trench – Skin and Bones: This is a rather graphic song about what it feels like to have an eating disorder and its connection to self-harm, again something that is a rather integral part of Luke’s situation. Like Save Me, it tackles the wish to get better, but being unable to.
It only hurt a bit and I still feel like shit, and I think you won’t be able to recognize me now.
City Wolf – Protector and Skillet – The Last Night: These two show how Sean feels about Luke, and how having a loved one who is mentally ill can feel in general. They’re quite powerful, hopeful songs.
If you lost the fight, then lets win the war.
Look me in the eyes so I know you know, I’m everywhere you want me to be.
The next three songs have the same theme, but they’re not as hopeful – but they show Sean’s feelings just as much. I think that when being close to someone who is fighting an addiction or a mental illness, you’ll sometimes jump from “I will do anything for you, we can fix this together and you will get better” to “I wish I could be there for you the way you need me to, but I don’t know how.” Sometimes you might get angry with them because you feel like they’re not seeing any sense, or feel guilty because you think you could have acted differently. The following songs capture the darker and often painful side of trying to support your loved one.
Lewis Capaldi – Before You Go: Was there something I could have said to make your heart beat better? Was there something I could have said to make it all stop hurting?
The Fray – How to Save a Life: I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life.
Nickelback – Because of You: I swore not to come, but I’m here after all. I know by the look that I see in your eye, I won’t stand around and I won’t watch you die from what you do.
The Weeknd – Pray for Me: This is just the track I picture playing at the bar in chapter 11, so it can give you an idea of the vibes. It’s also representative for Shayne’s taste in music (which is not exactly in line with mine, as you can probably tell from looking at the other songs).
Theory of a Deadman – Love is Hell: Another one for Shayne – this is pretty much how he feels about falling in love and entering into a relationship.
Here’s what the song says: I’d rather spend a weekend in jail and be stuck without bail than have you stuck in my head.
And here’s what Shayne says: He felt like a massive iron fist was squeezing in his thorax. […] What kind of sadistic people fancied this feeling so much they even went looking for it intentionally?!
Shinedown – A Symptom of Being Human: And lastly, what this one says to me is: It’s okay. We’re all lost and confused, just try to take another breath and another step.
Don’t worry, it’s all just a symptom of being human. We’re all just passing through, passengers on a ship of fools.
(If you do read the book, I’d love for you to listen to Better by SYML when you get to chapter 21. If I could pick any theme song for The Signs We Missed, it’d be this.)
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ReplyDeleteSounds like a book I would enjoy a lot.
ReplyDeleteThe playlist is great, the book sounds wonderful
ReplyDeleteHere's to a super Saturday!
ReplyDeleteWhat is the best piece of writing advice you ever received?
ReplyDeleteHappy Thursday!
ReplyDeleteIf you could invite three people for dinner, who would you invite?
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